Dr. Nolte Called...

So in the post right after this one you will see that I said that I had not heard anything from my doctor about the ultrasound that I had done, he called. He said that Rebecca is just under the size that she needs to be and so he is having me go in for non stress testing two times every week to monitor her. He wants to keep a close eye on her from this point forward and if at any point the fluid levels drop or he thinks that the results of a test are not where they need to be then they will do an emergency c-section and deliver Rebecca. My first test is set for tomorrow and then it will be every Monday and Thursday from then on. I will be getting a blessing from Dad and Jonathan to help comfort me during this and hopefully I can still continue on with my pregnancy til the due date. I will ask that as everyone says their prayers that you might include Rebecca in them. I am hoping that since she is just under where she needs to be in size and is active that she is just a small baby and is getting everything that she needs to survive!

I will keep you posted on how the testing goes.

What's New With Rebecca!

I had my appointment with my doctor on Monday the 28Th of September and found out that he is worried about the weight of Rebecca. He measured my stomach and decided that I am not measuring big enough and decided that he wanted me to get an ultra sound to see how big she really was. I am weighing in at 133lbs giving me a total weight gain for the pregnancy of 22lbs. My weight is good so there may be something wrong with Rebecca getting nutrition. She may just be small also. I tried to get in the same day as my appointment but the department in the hospital that does the ultrasounds had nothing open so I had to go back over to Roosevelt on Tuesday at 8am for the ultrasound. While there I asked if they would be able to do some 3D images of Rebecca and so we were able to get a few and that is one that is above. Can anyone see what it is?? If not it is the bottom of her foot!

The woman that was doing the measurements was not seeing that she has anything wrong with her and as of this point I have not heard from my doctor to say that there is anything to be concerned with on her size. I am hoping that she is just a small baby and that she is getting all the nutrition that she needs to get! When I get a call from my doctor about the results I will make sure that I post them so that all know what is going on and go from there. I did find out that the placenta is still in the way of her coming out naturally at this time. I plan on getting a blessing from Dad and Jonathan to possibly help in that situation as well as for the weight concern!

OK, on to the few other pictures!!!

Below is a picture of her other foot! This one is more visible as to being a foot!! I have to say that it looks like she is going to have big feet!!



The next one is one of her face as well as the last one. She was moving a lot so this one is kind of blurry but if you look close you can see her! I think that she is a little mad! Could be because she had to get up early to go to this appointment or it could be that she was getting her picture taken and she has not one time wanted to cooperate for picture!!!

This last one of her is a little better of a picture. It is easier to see her face in this one! I think she is going to have cheeks to squeeze! I also think that she has a totally cute nose!! I wish that we could have gotten better images than what we did but like I said she was not having anything to do with holding still!! I think it is awesome to see a glimpse of what she is going to look like though! She is going to be a total cutie!!

A Dilemma

So as of a few days ago I had a conversation with Ashley and somehow the topic of religion came up. As it progressed she said that she doesn't see why there is a reason to choose any one set religion and asked if it was even important. As I was talking I came to the conclusion that I might need dad's help on it so I asked him to come and joint the conversation. He was asking her questions back and then the dilemma came out. Ashley said that she does not even believe in God. I am not sure what to think or do with this situation. I feel that it is totally up to each individual to believe what they see fit for themselves and to choose whatever religion that they want but to hear that she does not even believe in God caught me off guard. All this time she would say different things that she believed in and now she is saying that she only said that she believed in those things to get people to stop talking to her. She only thinks about religion when someone is talking about it otherwise, she doesn't think about it or care about it. She thinks that when you die your body just rots (her words.) She said that it is not an important thing for her to have beliefs in things and now she feels that it is just brought up to her all the time. She thinks that since she has gone through life thus far without the belief, why should she start to believe anything now.

I have suggested that we have scripture study and family prayer and she said to let her think about it and then never does, do I force her to do these things with me or just continue to bring it up every few days?

What my question's are to anyone that would like to maybe help in this situation is do I continue to talk to her about religion? Stop bringing it up at all? She says prayer at dinner time, should we still ask her to do that if she doesn't believe that she is talking to anyone?

So if anyone has any advice for me to help with this situation, please give it to me.

Congrats to Andrew and Marni

So you are celebrating an anniversary today, congratulations to you! I hope you get some special time alone and have a wonderful day just enjoying each other and the wonderful family that you have created together.

Happy Anniversary!

Happy Birthday David!!

So today is David's birthday and he is now 19!! Wow, he got old! Just kidding! I hope that today is a good one for you and you get all the love that you deserve for today!

As is tradition I asked David what he wanted for his birthday meal and cake. He thought about it for a few days and then came back with a response. We will be having Ribs (half on bone and half no bone), mashed potatoes with gravy, corn on the cob (he can eat it now since he doesn't have the braces anymore!), and green beans that have bacon in them! As for a cake he has asked for a yellow cake with vanilla frosting. There was no thinking involved for him to tell me what kind of cake he wanted! Maybe he has just been waiting for it!

I got the ribs slow cooking in the oven as we speak and the cake will be made shortly so that I can frost it as soon as it is cooled down. The remaining things for the meal will obviously be made closer to dinner time and that will be at 6pm. David has invited his friend Dax and his parents. Dax has declined the invitation but his mother will be coming. I always get nervous when there is someone coming for dinner. I guess I am always afraid something will not turn out good at all! We will be happy to have her for dinner even something burns!!

Happy birthday David!!

Kevin and My Update.

Well, for the most part there is no talking with us. He chooses to write notes instead and then decides to tell me (in a note) no more notes, I don't have the balls to talk to him. In that note he did happen to mention that he didn't want Ashley, i could have her. If this situation goes to a divorce then i do have it in writing and it will make it hard for him to argue about anything. The main problem that we have is that he gets mad and explodes with anger and then he decides he is OK and everyone else is suppose to be the same with NO conversation about it. Most of the time when he gets mad he can't even tell me what he is mad at but expects me to apologize for what it was that I did or said that made him mad. He has decided that he is taking all the money and if I am needing it for bills I have to show him the bill and he will give that exact amount only. No bill, no money. When it comes to food I am to make a list and buy the groceries with my checking account and then take him the receipt and he will give me that exact amount only. The problem that i have with this is that he is the bread winner so to speak and as that, he is working to provide for the things that the family needs. I have to ask for money to pay for those needs and he gets to keep the rest of the money. He said that he averaged it out that he works for only $1.25 a day. He has previously asked for $20.00 out of each check. OK, what do I work for a day, nothing, not even a thank you. He said that he feels like he has to beg for money out of his check, even though he was the one that said $20.00 and said no to me when I would try to give him more. The difference in what he is doing and what I was doing when it comes to the money thing is that I spent money on all the needs and nothing for myself. I will have to "beg" for the needed things and what he was asking for money for was for his own self, not needs. He will get the remaining money out of his check like I said above and I am left with nothing in my account for the needs. Maybe it is me but I don't see this as being a fair arrangement and it is hard for me to go along with it and not have issues with it. Any advice on this from anyone??

There are other things that are bad but they are more personal and I choose not to post them for all to see. He has suggested counseling but I don't see how that will work since he insists that problems are just to be ignored and not worked out. His words on that subject are that I am suppose to ignore all of the anger that he gives to me or others when he is over being mad and not ask questions. Problems don't need to be worked out, love is all that is needed in a relationship. If problems don't need to be worked out them what would be the point in going to seek counseling??

He said that if there are other people home then we will not talk about the problems. He has been off the last two days but rather come and try to finish talking to me has spent his days with Jonathan. I don't think he wants to have a conversation about the problems and just expects them to go away! When he is around I have noticed that Rebecca will not move at all. She can be moving around like crazy and then he walks into the room and it is as if she isn't even in my belly, I feel nothing. Ashley doesn't say much to him anymore and he doesn't speak to her very often either. All in all it is a stressful situation and I am not sure what direction to go at this point.

What's New With Me

I went to the doctor for my scheduled appointment and was told that since my last appointment I had only gained one pound. I was not happy but the doctor still tells me that I am where I need to be with my weight and not to worry about it. I am still having the lower back pain but have found that if I do not sit down soon after the pain starts then I feel cramps in my lower belly. I told Doctor Nolte this and he is convinced that what I am feeling is contractions. I could have had a panic attack but he once again said that I should not worry. How can I not though? He said that so long as the contractions are not taking place more than 4 times every hour than I am OK. I don't always get them everyday so he is completely OK with them. He said that sometimes that happens and just to take it easy when it happens and not over do it. I find that if I sit down within a few minutes the pain does go away in my back and I am able to once again do whatever it was that I was doing before the pain started or whatever is next on my list of to do's. He then took me back to get a look at Rebecca and see how things were looking with her. I love that he likes to do this at each appointment, it gives me a sense on calming when I get to see her heart beat and as always, her little wave!! When we got in there he saw that the placenta is in the way of me giving birth naturally at this point. Unless it moves by the time I am to deliver I will have to have a c-section. I do not want to do this but if that is my only option, I guess I have no choice. Doctor Nolte said that I shouldn't worry about this either since there is still a couple of months for it to move on it's own. To say the least, I am worried about those things and he just laughed at me! He does specialize in high risk pregnancies so I am sure that if there was something to be concerned with he would be the first one to say that it was time to worry!

I had to go the following day back to Roosevelt to have my blood drawn for the diabetic test. The orange stuff that is given to me to drink is not bad with the first drink but all drinks after that gets worse and worse. The last one could have made me loose it all but I held it together! I have not heard anything about it from my doctor so I am assuming that no news is good news!

My next appointment is set for the 28Th of this month so we will see if there are any changes in any of the above things!

I got a calling in church a couple weeks ago and I am having thoughts that it might not last long. I was called to be a teacher in the nursery. I am with the 18 month old kids. It is fun and I love the kids but being 6 and half months pregnant it is hard for me to get down on the floor and play and then be able to get up quickly. I find that most of the time I do need to sit down because of the pain in my back since I don't want to send myself into labor early. This makes it hard on the person that is in the class with me, most of the work is left to her. She said she understands and doesn't mind but I still feel bad. Something else that concerns me is when Rebecca is born. I am not sure how it will work to be taking care of an infant and working with the nursery kids. I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it! I have also reached a point in the pregnancy where I don't have a whole lot of energy and feel like I am dragging all the time. This makes it hard also.

The final thing that is going on has been one that started a while ago. Kevin and I are having some serious problems. I won't go into the details about the problems though. He at one point took off his ring and moved out of the bedroom. When he decided that Adrian's bed was too hard for him to sleep on he announced that he was moving back into the room. His ring went back on and he now acts as if the problems don't exist and everything is normal. this is a hard thing for me to deal with since I am still hurt and can't talk about anything without getting a comment like deal with it or get used to it. Another thing that is a big concern is with him and Ashley. She and him do not at all see eye to eye about anything. I for the most part have come to grips that her attitude is a teenager attitude. He demands respect and has even said that she does not have to love or like him but she will respect him. He calls her names that are not OK at all and makes her feel as if she is not a person but rather an animal. She doesn't like to be around him at all anymore and wishes that he would just leave. I don't mind going into detail in a phone conversation for anyone that would like to know more about my side of this. I do know that it hurts to know that she hurts so much and I can't imagine Rebecca being hurt in the same way.

That is all that is new with me!

Missed Birthday Posts!

So I have not had my head on strait and have not posted comments for birthdays that came about recently!

Mike had a birthday and I was able to tell him happy birthday but I failed to get a card and send it out. I hope he doesn't mind that I didn't send my usual card. Happy Birthday Mike! I know you said that you forgot yourself that is was your birthday but I still hope that it was one of the best birthday's that you could have ever had!

Dad had a birthday also. We had Alison and Mike and the kids here on his birthday but I still did the traditional thing for him as far as a meal and cake. He chose for his birthday meal Hamburgers, hot dogs, and steak. We also did veggies from the garden being turnips, green beans, and beets! I was not sure how Alison's kids would like the veggies so I made some tater tots also (not from the garden!) The cake was a yellow cake with cream cheese frosting. I also made cupcakes with rainbow sprinkle frosting. We had chocolate ice cream, orange sherbet swirled with vanilla ice cream, and then rainbow sherbet (for me since I don't eat ice cream!) I hope your day was a good one dad, happy birthday!! I love you very much and just want to say thanks for all that you are to everyone around you and all the good things that you do for anyone in need!

Today would be a birthday for Kalen! Happy birthday! I again have failed on getting you a birthday card so I hope you don't mind. I hope your day is a good one and you get tons of hugs and kisses from your kids!!